Dear Lauren…

Oh hey howdy hey girlfriend! 😉

(One day, ONE DAY, I will be able to pull the whole “girlfriend” thing off!)

How’s it going? Or, should I say, how you going? Good old Aussie lingo and all hehe!

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Your last post was such a reality check! It’s crazy to think about where our parents were at this point in their lives – at 24 The Parentals had been married for two years and were in the midst of establishing their own career paths. Everything I’m not doing! Even looking at where others we grew up with are at now is scary – married or engaged, pregnant or already raising children, earning more than £8.60 an hour in a high flying, opportunity providing career…!

It’s really hard not to compare but I like your take on it – we pretty much all just play pretend for a while, until we find something that seems to work and feels right. What I remind myself of is that what is right for someone else is not always right for me. Equally, what is right for me is not always right for someone else. I will never forget the feeling I had in my gut when I first thought about going to live in Australia for a year. It was just so right, and it gave me purpose. Yes, I don’t have a husband, nor a house, and no signs of a blossoming career yet either! But with this trip on the horizon I had a goal, and that meant more than any of that stuff put together.

Plus I’m so not ready for marriage and my own kids yet. I can’t even keep a house plant alive!

The future is also something that’s been dwelling on my mind recently, but more long term. Weirdly, in opposition to you I feel as if I have all the time in the world to travel and see everything I want to see. Deep down I know that’s not true, but that doesn’t seem to be phasing me at present. No, what’s freaking me out currently is that I have no idea what I might do upon my return.

I was on Skype the other day to a friend and he asked what the plan might be when I get back. It completely stumped me. The only response I had was find a job and move to London. What kind of job…I have no idea! Do I just find any job that will help to pay the rent and contribute to my travel savings fund? And then run the risk of reaching 30 years of age without any long term experience in any profession? Or do I finally start to chase this mysterious career I seem to have avoided throughout my adult life so far? And if I choose that option then what career do I choose? The dance industry? The charity sector? Should I go back to uni and study to become a teacher? Or do something completely different and become a paediatric nurse?! Or maybe even a yoga teacher?!

I. JUST. DON’T. KNOW.

Let’s turn to quotes. They always help.

Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life. – Confucious

Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking and don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. – Steve Jobs

I work to live, not live to work. – Noel Gallagher

So, thoughts? Well, these are mine…
– I know any job I do choose to pursue as a career I’m going to have to love.
– I don’t want my career to define me – I had enough of being labelled as “Julie’s daughter” or “this is Mick’s eldest” throughout my childhood, no more of that thanks!
– I want to live outside of work, not exist because of it. I need to have a life.
– I’ll know when I find my career. That feeling in my gut I had when I began to consider Australia…I’ll have that when I find the right type of work for me.

But that’s all I know. But that’s all I need to know for now. I have another nine months until I come home, I do not need to be worrying about this now. Nine months is a long time, especially when travelling! Quite literally anything could happen between then and now, and nothing is going to be achieved by fretting about something that far in advance.

Normally I like to conclude and wrap things up with a clear answer and direction, but I can’t in this instalment. So I’ll just leave it there. I’m still as clueless about what I want to do, but right now that’s not what I want to be focusing on. It’ll distract me too much if I’m not careful, so typical head in the sand tactic it is! I’ll deal with it later!

Until next time amigo,

MWAH xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Lauren’s Blog: www.laurenhannahkiera.co.uk

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