…WOOOOOAAAAAH LIVING ON A PRAYER!
And now you’re stuck singing Bon Jovi songs.
As the title to this post suggests, I’m half way through my year! Six months have (somehow) been and gone since I first set foot in this amazing country. And what a six months they have been….
It’s strange, though – I always planned to do a post to mark this day, and as I’m in somewhat of a reflective mood this is a great time to write it. But it’s not with the mindset I always anticipated it would be with.
So brace yourselves people, it’s about to get deep!
I always thought this post would be bursting with energy, life and enthusiasm, full to the brim with pictures of sunny beaches, bikinis and smiles to rival the Cheshire Cat. Which, as shown already, I do have! When planning my trip this time last year it was very easy to focus on the sunshine, the once in a lifetime opportunities and the overall ‘betterness’ of Australia in comparison to little old England. There wasn’t much to compare really – back home I was working a job I knew wasn’t right for me, I was living with my parents and that was about it. Australia was going to be amazing, everything I wanted/needed it to be, and every single blog post, Facebook status update and Instagram photo would not only be evidence of just that but also serve to make everyone back at home crazy jealous!
And it is amazing. And my photos do make everyone back at home crazy jealous.
But for some reason, right now, I miss England.
Like, really miss England.
To the extent that I just have this longing, this urge to go home. Which is not what I planned.
I think putting things into context will help to explain this longing for the motherland. I’m ill at the moment, having had a chest infection, tonsillitis and two ear infections in the same ear! This has resulted in a suspected perforated ear drum…who wouldn’t want their own bed when they’re on antibiotics, using ear drops three times a day and then being completely deaf in one ear?! Also, I went home. Which was great, even if it wasn’t for the best reason. But now I’m left wondering if that was a mistake because it was so great, and since I got back to Australia all I’ve wanted is to be back in the UK.
Which is silly I know, and you’re probably reading this now thinking I’ve gone completely mad because what is there in the UK right now that makes it more appealing to me than Australia? Nothing. I don’t have a job, I have nowhere to live other than with my parents, after catching up with all my friends the novelty of being back would wear off quite quickly…why do I want to go home?!
Well, because travel is hard. It’s the easiest thing in the world sometimes, and the hardest thing too.
So what is a girl to do at a time like this? Why, she turns to her Dad of course! Though he isn’t exactly aware of this. As some of you may recall my Dad wrote me a letter with Tips from Dad in before I left. Remember Tip #3 from Dad? Well, here’s Tip #1 from Dad…
I am sure that you will go through every conceivable emotion. You might think that this is the best thing you ever did; at times, you might think that this is the worst thing you ever did. You will miss home; you will not miss home. You will love being in a new country; at times, you will hate being in a new country.
Tip #1 from Dad: All these feelings will be entirely natural. Don’t fight them.
It’s almost as if he’s spent the past 24 years raising me! HOW DID HE KNOW I WOULD GET LIKE THIS?
So it’s cool, how I feel right now is natural. Confused, homesick, a little lost, very settled and ready for change. I’ve been working as an au pair for three months now – I have six weeks left – and this is the longest I’ve been in one place since I arrived out here. And please don’t get me wrong, it’s great. I love it here, but more than that I love who I’m with because I’ve been so blessed with a wonderful, welcoming and selfless family. But both my head and my heart are craving a change of scenery, and I guess with having been home so recently it’s easy to jump to the conclusion that home is where I should be heading – it’s where the heart is after all.
So is that what I’m going to do?
In all honesty, I don’t know. I won’t lie – I have been looking at jobs in the UK, and have found one that more than tickles my fancy so I figure there’s no harm in applying. However, without a definite job to come back to I won’t be returning. It may just be that I need to spread my wings, get myself back into a hostel and be around backpackers once more. If that’s the case I’ll be sticking to my original plan – finish here, do a bit of exploring in and around Uluru and then make my way to a working hostel in order to get my three months of regional work done! I’m relying, once again, on my instincts. The feeling in my gut that just tells me when something is right, which I have learnt to trust regardless of how irrational that may seem. I’ll know the right thing to do at the right time, I’m sure of it.
So watch this space, everything may change! Or it may not! Who knows!